There's this dialogue from one of my favorite teen movies Some Kind of Wonderful that didn't really mean anything to me then but which makes more sense to me now.
"You can't judge a book by its cover."
"But you could pretty much tell much it would cost you."
As you all know, I like this thespian so much and I've been in love with him for several months now. Honestly, I still do...till now. I cannot fight it at the moment. Haha! But I guess my liking has been reduced to a superficial level. And I will tell you why.
He's quite new to social media and just recently created his own account. When fans found out about it, everyone including myself jumped at the chance of following him, leaving comments and stuff. I was so eager to post and was really enjoying myself, seeing all his postings...until my scrutinizing, idealistic self started to creep in again.
Little by little, I was observing his posts, analyzing the things he was showing. He likes to get his pictures from other fan accounts and post them on his account. He likes taking selfies, whatever angle, wherever, inside his car, at the airport, at the bus station, anywhere. He likes to post pictures and videos of himself doing boxing trainings. Aside from that he likes to follow sexy girls, mostly the Caucasian looking ones.
Yup, I know that is his account. It is his business. And I should be happy to see him post and all. But, I have a mind that analyzes all by itself and I couldn't control it. My head goes: What? Too many selfies and pictures that I already have in my computer. He really likes seeing his face eh. Does he love himself so much? Is he a narcissist? And what about those sexy girls? Why is he following them when he could be following his friends? As for the training videos, it's fine but goodness, when you show sports stuff to mostly female fans, they will only look at it because they either want to stare at your legs, your abs or see how much you sweat coz fangirls love everything even when they don't. You know when a joke isn't funny but a cute guy says it and girls still laugh? That sort of thing. Haha!
Anyway, I really cannot judge him based on a few posts, right? That would be unfair to him. He hasn't really posted much so I couldnt really tell how he is as a person. And that becomes the problem. Based on his posts so far, all I see is a self-absorbed man who likes to look good, show off and chase sexy women. Ouch!
Because of the lack of "humanity" in his posts, he seems to be just that...a pretty hard-bound book that doesn't contain much and that which you can guess the cost by just looking at. I love him. I wish I didn't. But somehow, all of those guys I have liked in the past had some selfless quality in them. I'm sure he has. I have just not seen. And frankly, he doesn't need to have a reason to show that quality to anyone. I know. He's a very private person.
But then, even in the simplest things can a person's heart be seen. How I wish to see him post about the coffee he drank today, or the dvd copy of the movie he watched yesterday, or maybe the book he reads to his children at night. But maybe, I was expecting too much. Maybe, it is my fault that I created this perfect image of him. Maybe, in posting what he has been posting, he was actually being honest and more 'human'. I don't know...
I guess, I should really just love him as an actor with great acting ability and a beautiful face. Problem is, a beautiful face isn't all I look for in a person. I need to see a beautiful soul. Now I'm not too sure how far this madness will go.
A pretty face without substance is like a movie with a catchy teaser but without a story. I don't think I will last. I hate myself when I like someone at a superficial level.
P.S. And one last thing. If he's going to grab pictures from his fan accounts, he might as well get one from each so everybody is happy. I mean, it's not like we're that many.
"You can't judge a book by its cover."
"But you could pretty much tell much it would cost you."
As you all know, I like this thespian so much and I've been in love with him for several months now. Honestly, I still do...till now. I cannot fight it at the moment. Haha! But I guess my liking has been reduced to a superficial level. And I will tell you why.
He's quite new to social media and just recently created his own account. When fans found out about it, everyone including myself jumped at the chance of following him, leaving comments and stuff. I was so eager to post and was really enjoying myself, seeing all his postings...until my scrutinizing, idealistic self started to creep in again.
Little by little, I was observing his posts, analyzing the things he was showing. He likes to get his pictures from other fan accounts and post them on his account. He likes taking selfies, whatever angle, wherever, inside his car, at the airport, at the bus station, anywhere. He likes to post pictures and videos of himself doing boxing trainings. Aside from that he likes to follow sexy girls, mostly the Caucasian looking ones.
Yup, I know that is his account. It is his business. And I should be happy to see him post and all. But, I have a mind that analyzes all by itself and I couldn't control it. My head goes: What? Too many selfies and pictures that I already have in my computer. He really likes seeing his face eh. Does he love himself so much? Is he a narcissist? And what about those sexy girls? Why is he following them when he could be following his friends? As for the training videos, it's fine but goodness, when you show sports stuff to mostly female fans, they will only look at it because they either want to stare at your legs, your abs or see how much you sweat coz fangirls love everything even when they don't. You know when a joke isn't funny but a cute guy says it and girls still laugh? That sort of thing. Haha!
Anyway, I really cannot judge him based on a few posts, right? That would be unfair to him. He hasn't really posted much so I couldnt really tell how he is as a person. And that becomes the problem. Based on his posts so far, all I see is a self-absorbed man who likes to look good, show off and chase sexy women. Ouch!
Because of the lack of "humanity" in his posts, he seems to be just that...a pretty hard-bound book that doesn't contain much and that which you can guess the cost by just looking at. I love him. I wish I didn't. But somehow, all of those guys I have liked in the past had some selfless quality in them. I'm sure he has. I have just not seen. And frankly, he doesn't need to have a reason to show that quality to anyone. I know. He's a very private person.
But then, even in the simplest things can a person's heart be seen. How I wish to see him post about the coffee he drank today, or the dvd copy of the movie he watched yesterday, or maybe the book he reads to his children at night. But maybe, I was expecting too much. Maybe, it is my fault that I created this perfect image of him. Maybe, in posting what he has been posting, he was actually being honest and more 'human'. I don't know...
I guess, I should really just love him as an actor with great acting ability and a beautiful face. Problem is, a beautiful face isn't all I look for in a person. I need to see a beautiful soul. Now I'm not too sure how far this madness will go.
A pretty face without substance is like a movie with a catchy teaser but without a story. I don't think I will last. I hate myself when I like someone at a superficial level.
P.S. And one last thing. If he's going to grab pictures from his fan accounts, he might as well get one from each so everybody is happy. I mean, it's not like we're that many.
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