Oh my! I've spent my entire day watching Charice Pempengco's live performances posted on youtube. That lady is just awesome. She just amazes me with every song, with each performance. I love her! She's just perfection. And so I held a microphone this afternoon and sang my heart out. I've been learning a few techniques by merely watching her. She just inspires me to sing better.

Thoughts on my birthday

In the past, I used to get excited at the thought of friends and loved ones giving presents and preparing surprises for me every birthday I'd have. I've always associated my special day with fancy little things that to me, proved my importance to them.

Now that I have reached my 31st birthday, I guess things are changing quite drastically. Last night, I attended a seminar for my Singles For Christ fellowship. I didn't tell anyone that in a few hours I'd be celebrating my birthday but then, the host announced that two people were celebrating their birthdays and of course, I was one of the two. Everyone greeted me. The funny thing is that I didn't know any of them personally yet, I felt so much loved. I even said, this is the happiest birthday I've had in my entire life. Really, what I felt last night was a genuine happiness.

It's so special in that I was surrounded by people who lived and breathed God's words. They too like myself have shortcomings but they strive like I do, to do good in each day of our lives. I really felt they were my true brothers and sisters, like we were indeed children of our Lord as we held a strong faith in him.

I believe that I have matured a lot in the last few years. I was once a pessimist who always viewed things negatively. Part of me still carries a little of that pessimism but having built my life upon God, I feel as if negative thoughts are now senseless and unworthy of contemplation.

I used to wish that I would find a partner and that I'd have my own family but I guess He knows I'm really not ready for it yet. I feel as if He's honing me to become more mature, more positive and more stable financially and emotionally to embrace the challenging work of becoming both a mother and a wife.

I'm not questioning God's will anymore. I'm just allowing myself to be lifted along the way, along this journey in life built upon a strong faith in God and in the faith that He will bring me to where I should be if I surrender everything to him. Of course, I know I have to do my share and not just let him do everything for me. But I'm getting there. As I get to know him more, I'm getting to know myself better. Through an appreciation of what I have, I guess I'll know what I can offer and never be afraid to share them with the people I love.

Yes, it's my birthday, and I'm thankful that despite the many problems I'm facing, I remain positive. Gone is the pessimist me. Though there are things that are missing, with my family, friends and God with me, and all the blessings coming my way, there's no reason to be sad. I choose to be happy.