I must be infatuated…again. But honestly, I wish I wasn't. It would have been better if I never had any of these romantic notions toward someone of the opposite sex, kasi it’s always been like a cycle. I get attracted to someone (usually from a distance), then I get too excited…with all the kilig, pa-cute, etc. My goodness! I’m soooo over that. I should be! I'm way too old for a "teeny-bopperish" infatuation.
Last week, I confided in my officemate friend about this unusual feeling in me that no matter how cute a guy is, no matter how hard he tries to “make pa-cute,” I don’t get it anymore. Then my officemate described me as someone who’s near the stage of frigidness. Frigid?! Okay, maybe…but no! Of course not.
Siguro sawa na lang talaga ako sa pagpapa-tweetums coz that was ALL I've been doing my entire life that now I'm starting to realize, I wasted my time and youth thinking and dreaming of things that never really existed, probably just in my head. Yun bang, you get too excited by the prospect of love knocking on your door pero it’s just a possibility. You create a world where you're happy, even if the person doesn't know you exist. All these things are merely part of an imagination, an illusion of what might or what could happen...In short, there isn't anything tangible. Just tangible hysteria for nothing really important.
Sure, I want to love. I want to fall hopelessly in love. Something that’s worth a lifetime coz I’m a certified hopeless romantic. But geez…I want to love and be loved back. I need that love to be reciprocated. Hindi yung ako lang ang nagmamahal. Or maybe, feeling ko lang nagmamahal na nga ako when the truth is, it's petty infatuation.
I’ve probably been deceiving myself all these years. Maybe, I’ve been hiding my real self. Sometimes, I’m guilty of denying my own feelings just to protect myself from being hurt. Maybe it’s time that I learn a lesson or two on loving and being loved. In that I mean, I should be more realistic, more sociable and less afraid to take a gamble at love.
Why am I saying all these? It’s all because I’m beginning to get myself entangled into another cycle of pa-tweetums kind of liking someone which I ultimately want to end from this point on.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Only He Knows....
Jesus, Take the Wheel
Carrie Underwood
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It's been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh
Carrie Underwood
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It's been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh
Talavera Lovin'
Speaking of work, here's a picture of me and a few of my officemates when we were in Talavera, Nueva Ecija last Tuesday night. Geez...I really enjoyed that (laugh)trip!
To quit or not to quit
The idea of leaving my current job has been flirting in my head for several months now. Honestly, I love my work. I enjoy it, really. And though there have been occurrences in the past (inevitably I'd still have if I don't get rid of it now) that my job almost entirely killed a healthy, happy weekend break...I've never really gone as far as linger about quitting just because of that. The only reason for such decision is the financial aspect of my work. Three years and counting, yet there's been no significant monetary progress.
I'm 29 now and I want a sense of financial security. I need to be realistic because one day I'd either get to have my own family and help my husband feed our kids or I'd end up living alone, worse not having enough of anything to feed myself alone.
I got a job offer last week from a potential employer (call center) but I haven't signed a contract yet, which is a good thing since it will give me more time to contemplate on things. Most people are telling me not to. I don't know. I feel as if I'm lost, like I'm at the crossroads of my life trying to figure out what life I should be leading. I don't know where to go. Should I stay with my current company which financially doesn't equate the amount of dedication I have for my work or should I move on to greener pastures not minding if the work hours would completely trouble my health?
I'm 29 now and I want a sense of financial security. I need to be realistic because one day I'd either get to have my own family and help my husband feed our kids or I'd end up living alone, worse not having enough of anything to feed myself alone.
I got a job offer last week from a potential employer (call center) but I haven't signed a contract yet, which is a good thing since it will give me more time to contemplate on things. Most people are telling me not to. I don't know. I feel as if I'm lost, like I'm at the crossroads of my life trying to figure out what life I should be leading. I don't know where to go. Should I stay with my current company which financially doesn't equate the amount of dedication I have for my work or should I move on to greener pastures not minding if the work hours would completely trouble my health?
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Dog Quiz
|
Are You a Vain Girl?
| You Are a Down to Earth Doll |
 You're good looking and you realize that looks matter And you also know that it's your inside that really shines You do your best to look like an A-lister But you devote most of your time to being a well rounded hottie |
Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?
| You are Totally Realistic |
 "Romance" means you're about to roll your eyes Seriously, you can do without the sap or drama Save it for someone who has nothing really going on in their relationship For you, love is real - and easily integrated into your life You don't need candles, flowers, or chocolates to know he's the one Just some stimulating conversation... and maybe a great smile. |
----
nah, i don't agree. i'm actually more on the romantic side. hehe
Does he like me?
|
------
now this one, i totally understand...
What Color Girl Are You?
| You Are A Blue Girl |
 Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart. |
Are you in love?
|
-------
erm...really now?!
Your results:
You are Superman
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
Friday, January 04, 2008
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
