Prologue

In My Life

I was blind not to have seen the beauty in you,

and failed to see the importance of your love for me.

Now I regret each moment lost,

each passing day that’s wasted without you.

From now on, I’ll be holding on to a dream,

that each moment of my life,

you will serve as my light.

I’ll be wishing you’d come back to me.

then I won’t have to be lonely.

He who excites me with his every step. He who makes my heart leap with each glance...isn't who the Lord wants for me, so I'm giving up. He who delights me is somebody else' angel and I'm giving up on my wish.

I guess that maybe when God answers prayers, he does it in huge, colossal ways but when he doesn't grant one, he answers us in painful, challenging ways. It's a big NO for the man I have been wishing for all this time. I surrender.

Maybe I'll find another one who fits my idea of a good partner and then I'll pray that it's him. If not...I'll know for sure. Then I'll hope once again because I trust that God will give me someone I rightfully deserve.

I'm staging a comeback after one month of hiatus. Finally, I'm having the "will" to write on this blog again.

First off, we finally made our trip to Potipot Island last June 2nd and it was so much fun. We even plan on going there again sometime this year. Second and more importantly, I'm finally doing something worthwhile in my spare time. The first few months of this year have been routinely about surfing the net and going to work. Now I get to do more interesting stuff like play the guitar, read short stories, draw portraits, sing karaoke, massage my brother and even cut my father's hair. On top of that, I get to watch summer Hollywood releases which I found all as entertaining.

I love my life now, far different from how I felt a month ago before I could turn 30. You see, I used to really be scared at the thought of reaching this age. Not because I'm afraid to grow old and to add another year but the social implications of being 30 and single can really be intimidating.

When I was young, I dreamed of getting married at 30. But it didn't happen. Most people tell me to start doing something about my being single. Well, at this age, I guess I have come to a point where it doesn't really matter when I'll settle down.

I don't lose the dream. There's hope of course that I'll soon find my significant other. But it's not my priority. I have family and friends who love me. That's what matters now. I have a job and hopefully I'll have the courage to show the world what I got, God willing.