Living Life Happily

My journey towards finding love is getting bleaker each day. But maybe, that is not what I am looking for. I guess that finally I have come to a realization, an admission that though people are all giving me a red signal on my still being single at my age, I really do not desire to find a man.

When I turned 30 in May 2008, my friends and colleagues started to express their worries because I wasn't married yet. Heck, I never even had a boyfriend. So I guess the pressure got the best of me and I started to open up myself to other people more. But the problem was, I was always either at home or at work, nowhere else. Going out isn't my thing and it's not even that I'm not sociable. I just love being in the house. And in the workplace, there was just work, work, work.

So one evening, while browsing through one of my social media accounts, I chanced upon an old classmate of mine who was living abroad. After a constant exchange of messages, he asked if I wanted to allow him to be romantic with me. I paused a long time and eventually said yes. So the next day, I told my officemates about it and they congratulated me for finally getting a boyfriend. Call me naive but honestly I didn't think of it that way. I actually thought he wanted to court me. Stupid me.

Anyway, so this boyfriend of mine was thousands of miles away from me but he promised to come home and eventually marry me. I guess at that point, I was more excited at the idea of getting married than actually getting to know the person I was having a relationship with. He often called me up and I liked talking to him except when he was getting a little bit out of line which I'm not going to mention anymore.

As a woman, there are things that I value so much, but I guess as a man, he couldn't fully respect. I understood him but it was hard to accept his character. We were different in so many ways. I did try to embrace our differences but I guess not for too long because one night he called me up in the drunken state he always was, paranoid and jealous, said he wanted to break up with me. Without hesitation, I accepted.

The following morning, he called and asked what he said the previous night. I told him he wanted us to break up and that I agreed. He then said he didn't mean it, that he was drunk. But I guess, I was actually waiting for that chance to free myself from him. Not because I disliked him but because I was in that relationship for the wrong reason, that I needed to be in a relationship more than I wanted to be with a man.

When I watched the Korean version of Fated to LoveYou, I felt like Kim Miyoung a lot of times. I'm never able to say no to anyone. I couldn't break up with him even if I was getting hurt by his actions. When he asked for a breakup, I grabbed the chance. The hardest part was convncing him to let go. After that, I avoided his calls.

Looking back, I truly feel sorry. He was always apologetic for his actions but I guess it was my fault too. I know I should have tried to love him. Because if I did try a bit then I would have accepted his flaws. Then I would have helped him become a better person. Bottom line. You have to love someone first before you get into a relationship. Love comes first. I should have known better.

And maybe, I wasn't the right woman for him. Maybe I wasn't meant to change him. Maybe I wasn't ready yet. Maybe I'm still not ready now. How can I be ready when all I think of right this moment is this crazy obsession with Jang Hyuk? And I'm getting worse by the day. Haha. But really, these crazy little things make me happy.

When I hear people complain about being single and lonely, I'd often wonder, does marriage equate happiness? Because as far as I'm concerned I've always been happy and satisfied. I have the love of my family and friends. Some people are married yet they are living in despair.

I would love to get married of course. I still pray that someday I'd get to have my own family. But if I keep reminding myself to find someone, then I will be missing out on a lot of great things that are coming my way and lose sight of what this life is about and that is to live life happily.

Hyukie Junkie Part 2

As I was watching Fated to Love You, I found myself enjoying each episode. At first, I was drawn to Kim Mi Young for her kindness and innocence. I actually did not like Lee Gun at the beginning of the drama. I thought he was way too loud and immature. But towards the middle of the series, Lee Gun finally won me over. Episodes 11 and 12 were the turning point to this change of heart.

In Lee Gun, I felt the pain in letting go of the one you love. I cried when he bravely kept his tears, trying to deny his own heart's happiness. I wanted to comfort him when he was at a distance gazing at the woman he loved dearly. I found kindness in his spirit that was easy to grasp. I related with him more than I ever did with any character in any drama.

The more exposed I was with Lee Gun, the more curious I was in finding out the man behind the character. How could an actor do so much to a stereotypically rich, proud leading man in a romantic comedy? Jang Hyuk was so fully committed to the role, he breathed life to Lee Gun in a way that made the character endearing, relatable and timeless.

I looked up at his filmography and didn't even know that he has been doing mostly serious roles in the past couple of years. The last time I checked, he was playing silly characters that barely caught my interest. It turns out, I missed out on a lot of Hyukie films and dramas.

So I watched Chuno and was in awe the entire time. He was Lee Dae Gil from start to finish with no sign of holding back. He cried with bitter sorrow and fought bravely even knowing of imminent defeat. His stunts were as amazing as his acting. His body was as jaw-dropping as his pretty face. Okay so now, I'm back to fangirling. Haha!

Seriously though, Jang Hyuk is a total package. He does his own stunts and is even a trained martial artist. That explains a string of projects in the action genre the previous years. But in my opinion, Jang Hyuk is most effective when he does drama. His eyes can express a hundred different emotions. It's unbelievable!

And then came FTLY. His comedic timing and at times, slapstick humor are just too hard to resist. He brutally made me laugh and cry all at the same time! Some of the best actors are those who excel in both drama and comedy. Anything in common with my all time favorite actors? Kevin Kline, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson & Tom Hanks. Yes, they all have that dramatic-comedic combo. It's a very rare talent to have and I'm proud to say that Jang Hyuk is that rare combo.

But wait, there's more! He's got abs, a beautiful face, cute dimples, killer smile, perfect nose and luscious lips! Simply put, he's drop-dead gorgeous! And did I mention how great a kisser he seems to be? Lucky girls who get to kiss him on screen. But mostly, I envy you Jang Nara! Lol. Forgive my being a fangirl...again!

Hyukie Junkie Part 1

It's been a long time since my last post. Well, if you happen to notice, I've been having that same intro the last couple of years eversince I got too lazy to update this blog. Do I sound like a broken record already? I know right!

Okay, so it's already 2014 and I haven't even had a single entry on this blog. There's just rougly three months left till this year ends and where have I been all this time? Not much I guess. But not less either.

Why? Coz I found a new inspiration in Jang Hyuk oppa! Yes, after a celebrity fangirling drought, I am so back. And even better!

So who is this guy who suddenly turned my ice cold heart melt with burning love? Jang Hyuk is a South Korean actor who starred in the films Please Teach Me English and Windstruck and the television series Bright Girl. After completing his military service, he returned to acting via the heartwarming series Thank You. His biggest success came when he played Lee Dae Gil in the highly-rated & critically acclaimed series Chuno for which he won numerous awards.

Hyukie oppa was already successful in the early 2000s. I know I've seen his films then. I even had a chance to get a glimpse of him on Bright Girl when it aired on a local tv channel sometime in 2004, if I'm not mistaken. But I wasn't really smitten. Or maybe I wasn't just looking close enough.

So fastforward to August of this year. I'm a sucker for romance and Kdrama is just perfect for people like myself. Yes, I've been watching Kdramas for so many years now, I can't count how many series I've watched and how many actors I've been infatuated with. Jo Hyun Jae, Bae Soo Bin, Kim Min Jong, Lee Dong Wook, So Ji Sub, Ko Soo, Jo In Sung and the list goes on.

Now the question is...how on earth did Jang Hyuk fall off my radar? Simply put, where has he been hiding all this time? Has he been hiding from me? Well, that brings me to finding this gem of an actor in the Korean adaptation of the original Taiwanese series Fated to Love You. Jang Hyuk hasn't acted in a romantic comedy for more than a decade and that explains why I haven't seen him coz I watch too many sappy romantic dramas.

Honestly, I was quite hesitant to watch FTLY because I didn't watch the Taiwanese version & had no idea what it was about. But then, a really boring weekend with nothing much to choose from made me want to give it a try. And goodness, I have to thank that boring weekend coz my life will never be the same. I found the most endearing male protagonist in any Korean series, and that is my beloved Lee Gun. The best part is, Lee Gun reintroduced me to the brilliant and charismatic guy that is Jang Hyuk!