I don't know how to describe it. But right this moment, memories of my aunt's cremation this afternoon never seem to escape my thoughts. I wish I didn't see it. I had goosebumps. Just really gives me the creeps. But then, may her soul rest in peace.

You Are 88% Interesting

Believe it or not, you are a very fascinating person. You're probably too busy being interesting to realize exactly how interesting you are. You have a rich, full life. You are curious about the world, and you are very open to new experiences. You have a lot to talk about, and people find you to be an amazing conversationalist. And most importantly, you are truly interested in other people. How could anyone find that boring? You truly listen and learn from others. You're not self absorbed or shallow.

Are You Boring or Interesting?

If there is ever an award given to the friendliest niece in a family reunion, I'd probably get the title. Why not? At least, I get to chat with any one about anything under the sun. Politics, love, health, work, and yes...even celebrity gossips. They all think I know EVERYTHING! It's a tough role that I get to play every family reunion, but I enjoy it. And I love it too that I'm not really a fan of local showbiz but every once in a while I get to act as if I'm a huge enthusiast of our local stars. Not that I don't like them. I'm just not thrilled. I'd rather talk about my own problems than gossip about celebrities who don't have anything to do with me.

Had so much fun with our trip to Capas, Tarlac last Saturday. It's been a long time since I've last seen my relatives there. We're planning to visit Capas again next month. I'm super excited about it.

Me and my brown hair

I used to really get pissed each time I'd hear comments on my hair not being dark like everyone else. Anyways, I've grown to like my natural hair color. At least I don't need to pay just to have my hair dyed because it's colored already. Haha.

It pains to want someone and know that that someone can never be yours. I have always wished and prayed for him. How long should I stay this crazy about someone before I could realize that nothing will ever come of it?

So I should start telling myself to just move on. Essentially, if I would end up with somebody, he should first realize it in his heart how much he needs me. It shouldn't be the other way around.

Thank God there's Youtube! I'm loving every bit of the Eraserheads reunion concert held last Saturday in Taguig. At least, those who were not able to see it live could watch and experience the once in a lifetime concert through video footages that fans have been posting on youtube. So sad that Ely had to be rushed to the hospital after suffering chest pains in the middle of the concert. The last I heard, he underwent another angioplasty procedure, but that he's in stable condition now. Let's all pray for his speedy recovery. He's a rarity in the music industry.

How creative are you?

You Are 78% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word. You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

How Creative Are You?

How happy are you?

You Are 76% Happy

You are a very happy person. Generally, you feel content and that all is right with the world. Occasionally, you have a down day - but you have the ability to pick yourself right back up.

How Happy Are You?

Which planet are you from?

You Are From Jupiter

You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.

What Planet Are You From?

Inside the room of your soul

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there. For you, falling in love has never been easy. You can only fall for someone who is very patient and persistent.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Affairs of the Heart

Why do I feel offended? He didn't even do anything wrong to me. After all the thinking and re-thinking, I've finally reached a point where it doesn't matter to me anymore. I'm not angry, for there is no valid reason to be mad. It was all my presumptuous analysis. I might have been hurt by his very obvious uneasiness being situated in the same place with me, but it's too petty to even deserve contemplation and analysis.

What I have come to realize is that, I will never be happy this way. I cannot for the love of God seek happiness in people who can't give it to me. From now on, I will open my eyes to other opportunities that could offer the happiness I've always desired. And in the affairs of the heart, I shall never again seek what obviously evades me.

Au revoir, monsieur

I want to erase from my thoughts any memory of ever liking him. I'm disgusted by his insensitivity. I've never felt this offended in my life. For me, he doesn't exist anymore. Au revoir, monsieur.

my art works

What a great weekend! I had the pleasure to start drawing all over again. It's a hobby I almost completely lost interest in. Here are a few of my works:

LOVELY

OLD MAN

UNICORN

THE HOURS

MRS. CHAPLIN

THE HAND

KAREN'S FEET

When Scorpio meets Gemini

got this mini soul scope from www.freehoroscopesastrology.com and i feel like posting it on this blog. it's quite interesting actually...

Scorpio Rising

You emanate a strong emotional or sexual force field that can transform your surroundings, be they personal or even global, to a far better or far worse state. Notable examples: Gandhi,Mussolini, Lenin, Stalin, Thatcher. You base your identity on power and influence, and consequently have to wrestle with the dark side of life and of yourself. Failure to do so creates an unpleasant atmosphere.

This dark side should be exorcised artistically or psycho-therapeutically or through sexual love - or a combination of these. You need a stable and resolute mate to balance out this intensity, but you should endeavor to develop your own stable qualities. You usually have a penetrating gaze -as if you are seeing life through X-ray eyes, and indeed you are able to see beneath surface appearances. In addition, or alternatively, you somehow "cloak" your true feelings and identity,as if you had something you'd rather not have seen by others - or yourself for that matter.

All this matches or creates your strong sexual vibration and sense, and gives you the ability to become quite unnoticeable, yet still emanate that intense atmosphere. You like secrecy and all that it involves. As such, you make an excellent confidante for possessing a secret, this far more enjoyable to you than spreading gossip. However, your secrecy could be expressed as keeping your deepest doubts to yourself, with the consequence that no one can really get close to you,which is actually what you desire deep down.

Pluto is your Ruling Planet, which governs the link between your exterior being and your interior being.

Sun in Gemini

Your essential purpose in life is to make contact with, and connections between, whatever or whoever you regard as important - which is more or less everything! You do this because at heart you find everything interesting in some way or another. You are very alive to the variety of animate and inanimate objects on this planet, and you want to get to know as many of them as possible. As a rule though, 'get to know' is all you want to do.

As long as you have a 'taste' you are satisfied; getting deeply involved is not really to your taste and you will flip like a coin from one interest or person to another as it suits you. There may be other parts of your personality/birth chart that need or are attracted to more intimate situations,in which case a more profound sense of human interaction will be asked of you.

Like the many facets of life that you are acquainted with, you are able to turn your hand to many tasks and skills; indeed, it is your hands, as well as your quick mind and wits, which are your most excellent tools. You are, or should be, the communicator. There is nothing like a Gemini for keeping itself, the world and society in touch with each other and with what is happening.

Say my name

How much do you want me?
How badly do you need me?
Am I merely a part of your
clouds of thought
Or do I fill an entire room
of cluttered ideas
in your imagination?

How well do you know me?
Have you tried to get to know me?
You probably thought about it
once or twice
But when did you truly intend
to be with me?

How will I know what you feel
when all you make me do
is believe that you're
a cold, uncaring man
who doesn't want to have
anything to do with me?

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Prologue

In My Life

I was blind not to have seen the beauty in you,

and failed to see the importance of your love for me.

Now I regret each moment lost,

each passing day that’s wasted without you.

From now on, I’ll be holding on to a dream,

that each moment of my life,

you will serve as my light.

I’ll be wishing you’d come back to me.

then I won’t have to be lonely.

He who excites me with his every step. He who makes my heart leap with each glance...isn't who the Lord wants for me, so I'm giving up. He who delights me is somebody else' angel and I'm giving up on my wish.

I guess that maybe when God answers prayers, he does it in huge, colossal ways but when he doesn't grant one, he answers us in painful, challenging ways. It's a big NO for the man I have been wishing for all this time. I surrender.

Maybe I'll find another one who fits my idea of a good partner and then I'll pray that it's him. If not...I'll know for sure. Then I'll hope once again because I trust that God will give me someone I rightfully deserve.

I'm staging a comeback after one month of hiatus. Finally, I'm having the "will" to write on this blog again.

First off, we finally made our trip to Potipot Island last June 2nd and it was so much fun. We even plan on going there again sometime this year. Second and more importantly, I'm finally doing something worthwhile in my spare time. The first few months of this year have been routinely about surfing the net and going to work. Now I get to do more interesting stuff like play the guitar, read short stories, draw portraits, sing karaoke, massage my brother and even cut my father's hair. On top of that, I get to watch summer Hollywood releases which I found all as entertaining.

I love my life now, far different from how I felt a month ago before I could turn 30. You see, I used to really be scared at the thought of reaching this age. Not because I'm afraid to grow old and to add another year but the social implications of being 30 and single can really be intimidating.

When I was young, I dreamed of getting married at 30. But it didn't happen. Most people tell me to start doing something about my being single. Well, at this age, I guess I have come to a point where it doesn't really matter when I'll settle down.

I don't lose the dream. There's hope of course that I'll soon find my significant other. But it's not my priority. I have family and friends who love me. That's what matters now. I have a job and hopefully I'll have the courage to show the world what I got, God willing.