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Sunday, August 18, 2013
(9)
Monday, May 06, 2013
Learning Slowly
These past couple of days, I've been trying to finally learn how to play the piano. There's this music teacher on youtube who's been so generous enough to post almost everything anyone would need to know about playing the piano. His name is Andrew Furmanczyk. I suggest that you watch his youtube channel Lypur because he's easily comprehensible and even funny at times. You'll never get bored even if he gets to the really hard theories and stuff.
Anyways, going back to my piano study...Since I have no prior knowledge of music, it must be obvious that it was quite difficult to understand the many different (difficult!) concepts that were being discussed in the tutorials. So I figured to stop for a moment, slowly absorb concepts and to actually start working on a keyboard at least.
Guess it's helping! I've actually completed a single melody just playing by ear, not thinking about notes' names yet. The good thing though is, I actually now know the names of those notes I included in the melody that I had created. If I get to play and play more often, then maybe I'll get familiar with the notes even more. The best way to learn something is to immerse yourself into it and make it a regular part of your life.
I can't promise to play and practice everyday, but if I can't practice then I can always watch Lypur's video and learn some more. Hopefully, I'll learn even if it's at a snail's pace. I don't really mind. I've waited this long to learn to play. A few months or years will only feel like tomorrow.
Anyways, going back to my piano study...Since I have no prior knowledge of music, it must be obvious that it was quite difficult to understand the many different (difficult!) concepts that were being discussed in the tutorials. So I figured to stop for a moment, slowly absorb concepts and to actually start working on a keyboard at least.
Guess it's helping! I've actually completed a single melody just playing by ear, not thinking about notes' names yet. The good thing though is, I actually now know the names of those notes I included in the melody that I had created. If I get to play and play more often, then maybe I'll get familiar with the notes even more. The best way to learn something is to immerse yourself into it and make it a regular part of your life.
I can't promise to play and practice everyday, but if I can't practice then I can always watch Lypur's video and learn some more. Hopefully, I'll learn even if it's at a snail's pace. I don't really mind. I've waited this long to learn to play. A few months or years will only feel like tomorrow.
Sunday, May 05, 2013
The Extra Man
On a lazy Saturday evening as I was relaxing comfortably trying to turn a calm contemplation into a more lively stance, I chanced upon an old Henry IV book of mine stuck in a stock full of piles underneath my laptop stand. Just then at that moment, I thought about the author Henry James. I don't even know why but it may have been the name Henry that prompted me to recall the film The Extra Man where Henry James was mentioned.
So first off, this isn't a film review. I don't think I can ever convince anyone to consider this one as such since all I will be writing about is how much I loved watching it.
The Extra Man stars Paul Dano as young writer Louis Ives who meets "extra man" Henry Harrison played so humorously by Kevin Kline. These two actors have worked previously in the film The Emperor's Club which I also enjoyed a lot. It's just a pleasure to see them on screen again with Kline and Dano (though looking a lot more mature now) still having that teacher-protege vibe in them.
But going back to the film, what is an extra man in the first place? As the film suggests, women being able to outlive men need an extra man to escort them to gatherings or any event and fill an empty seat in a predominantly women filled table.
This isn't the only thing going on in this film though. More than Henry's work as a "gentleman", the film revolves around Louis' uncertainty of being. We see a young man lost in his own dreamy world, unable to express himself to anyone. Apparently, Henry, for all his quirkiness and snobbish idealism manages to attract Louis and somehow help him come to terms with reality although at certain times, Henry himself gets lost in his own dreams. And this is what drives the movie forward.
I have not seen any two protagonists as polarizing as these characters in recent years or I may not have been watching too many films. On the one hand, we see Henry who is loud, proud and assertive. On the other, we see Louis who is shy, flimsy and wobbly. But both being a writer though each one having an issue in the past or in the present waiting to be resolved, their conversations get to be the strongest points of the film and it certainly moves the film from merely evoking wit and humor into tackling more sensible subjects like friendship, loyalty and forgiveness. Slowly we understand where the both of them are coming from. And I guess as the story progresses, their friendship becomes not only plausible but necessary.
Kevin Kline is just outright incredible in this movie. I don't think he's ever acted badly. His comic timing is genius and he is so convincing playing the part of a proud gentleman. Paul Dano plays a complex Louis carefully acting out all the intricacies of the character. I think more than Kline's role, Dano's Louis required a more delicate treatment yet somehow Dano manages to make it work by bringing out that natural awkwardness in him and ultimately making Louis believable and sympathetic. And yes, John C. Reilly is also in this film to add some form of entertainment. At certain moments in the film, he actually stole the spotlight. Got to love that voice!
So obviously, I'm in love with this film. I guess I lost count how many times I've seen it. If you're not into talky films then you may not enjoy The Extra Man. Watching it though gives me the feeling of living in an era of a forgotten past. The film appeals to me the same way The Great Gatsby and Catcher in the Rye did. Studying literature in college, I was able to read a lot of American novels and I'd like to believe that this film is an homage to American literature of the earlier days. It's an experiment and it certainly worked. It may not have the most intriguing plot but it sure makes sense of the idea that each one of us has our own eccentricities yet we come to terms with them and continue living our lives the way it should be lived.
Saturday, May 04, 2013
Gift of People
Sometimes, the most interesting conversations are those that happen unexpectedly with people we don't normally get to talk to but whose lives are just as colorful as ours. It's a gift that somehow, in the chaos and uncertainty of life, our paths cross with that of others and ultimately form a perfect plan. Who would have known that a simple lunch in the office would completely change my mind on a certain issue?
In many ways, the fact that humans have the ability to speak makes it even more important that we not only have that gift of speech for saying what we think and feel but essentially using it to share our stories of joy, triumphs and even sadness that others could learn from.
I can't elaborate what we talked about early today since it's kind of a sensitive issue but boy do I agree on one thing: never lose sight of who you are.
It's true that nothing stays permanent in this world. We constantly change and move. We're faced with sometimes the extreme of extremes be it success or failure. Yes, things around us change, but do we need to change too just to appropriate to a completely unrecognizable path? Our looks may change, even the way we dress but we need to preserve the purity in our heart, the good intention in our thoughts and the happiness within our smiles. We should never let our goodness take a backseat in every triumph or failure. That's when we actually need it the most.
It was depressing to have listened to an almost happily ever after story because it ended so tragically. And in the last couple of hours, I have been wishing that I didn't hear about such sad story. But then, maybe God willed that I hear about it so I could learn from it and never do the same mistakes.
In many ways, the fact that humans have the ability to speak makes it even more important that we not only have that gift of speech for saying what we think and feel but essentially using it to share our stories of joy, triumphs and even sadness that others could learn from.
I can't elaborate what we talked about early today since it's kind of a sensitive issue but boy do I agree on one thing: never lose sight of who you are.
It's true that nothing stays permanent in this world. We constantly change and move. We're faced with sometimes the extreme of extremes be it success or failure. Yes, things around us change, but do we need to change too just to appropriate to a completely unrecognizable path? Our looks may change, even the way we dress but we need to preserve the purity in our heart, the good intention in our thoughts and the happiness within our smiles. We should never let our goodness take a backseat in every triumph or failure. That's when we actually need it the most.
It was depressing to have listened to an almost happily ever after story because it ended so tragically. And in the last couple of hours, I have been wishing that I didn't hear about such sad story. But then, maybe God willed that I hear about it so I could learn from it and never do the same mistakes.
Friday, May 03, 2013
my lessons
it's the month of may once again and oh my, i'm getting older again. hayyy, there's this someone i almost fell in love with who turned out to be...forget it. there are a few who have been trying to pursue but are failing miserably (i feel like hiding) and then there is that one wish floating in the air waiting for forever!
here are a few things in love i have learned (the hard way) these past couple of years and i guess, writing them down wouldn't hurt. here they are:
1. never assume - just because he looks at you in a different way, he actually likes you. if he does, he would have approached you and told you quickly
2. live in the present - try not to regret about what could have been if you did differently in the past. there's a reason why it is in the past, it's done already, there's no way to change it. try to learn from it and think of the things that will make a better now.
3. be deserving - you can't change the person you love but if you deserve being treated right then they might think about your feelings first before they even do those things that could hurt you.
4. be whole - find your own being, your own happiness and then you can share that same happiness to someone. don't ever think a man will complete you if you are damaged yourself.
5. be free - stop being stiff and fancy. be yourself and if someone will actually like the person they see in you, then you actually hit jackpot 'coz then you won't have to play someone else for the rest of your life or be blamed for not being honest.
6. love those you could still love - while there is still time and we all know how short life is, love as much as you can those who matter to you like family and friends for we wouldn't know how long they will be with us.
7. never lose faith in God - i strongly believe we all have a purpose no matter if we find it hard to find out what it is...i just think that God is the wind that carries us through, and we just have to keep sailing through and never stop.
here are a few things in love i have learned (the hard way) these past couple of years and i guess, writing them down wouldn't hurt. here they are:
1. never assume - just because he looks at you in a different way, he actually likes you. if he does, he would have approached you and told you quickly
2. live in the present - try not to regret about what could have been if you did differently in the past. there's a reason why it is in the past, it's done already, there's no way to change it. try to learn from it and think of the things that will make a better now.
3. be deserving - you can't change the person you love but if you deserve being treated right then they might think about your feelings first before they even do those things that could hurt you.
4. be whole - find your own being, your own happiness and then you can share that same happiness to someone. don't ever think a man will complete you if you are damaged yourself.
5. be free - stop being stiff and fancy. be yourself and if someone will actually like the person they see in you, then you actually hit jackpot 'coz then you won't have to play someone else for the rest of your life or be blamed for not being honest.
6. love those you could still love - while there is still time and we all know how short life is, love as much as you can those who matter to you like family and friends for we wouldn't know how long they will be with us.
7. never lose faith in God - i strongly believe we all have a purpose no matter if we find it hard to find out what it is...i just think that God is the wind that carries us through, and we just have to keep sailing through and never stop.
Thursday, May 02, 2013
My Star
Someday
I'll find
my star
in the dusty bright moon,
covered by a glaring rainbow,
sunken in the deep blue sea,
glowing in the big night sky.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
I don't know
Life is a constant cycle of high and low. Guess that right now, I'm somewhere in the middle and it's not a good thing. The last few posts I made on this blog, I wrote with clarity of mind and emotion. But right now, I don't know what to feel. It's like facing a wall, knowing there's no way out. Or maybe, it's kind of standing at an intersection not knowing which way to turn. I'd like to believe my predicament is the latter one.
Dreams. I've had so many of them. But it seems like those are all that I have. Heard from someone that dreams remain to be such if we don't work hard to achieve it. I know I have not been doing enough to turn those dreams into reality. It's my fault. But how? How do I get the passion? Feels like I'm running out of time. I don;t know.
Then, there are dreams I wish I had control over. I don't. Since the beginning of this blog, it's been a constant wish of mine to meet someone and settle down but really, all the work that can be done is to pray. Maybe I haven't prayed enough. Maybe I don't need it as much as I think I do. Or maybe, as cliche as it sounds, the right one will come in the right place at the right time. Again, I don't know.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing on this blog again. Too many thoughts cloud my usually calm and sane mind. But tonight...Ah tonight is different. I feel like I've awakened from years of slumber that it's hard to think clearly. I'm like an exhausted battery that needs to be charged to go working again.
And there's too many frustrations that aren't even that important for which I'm struggling to come to terms with.
Oh goodness, why do I have to make my life more complex than it is? Maybe I have to chill a little bit. And maybe I should accept whatever life brings and find contentment where I can find.
Dreams. I've had so many of them. But it seems like those are all that I have. Heard from someone that dreams remain to be such if we don't work hard to achieve it. I know I have not been doing enough to turn those dreams into reality. It's my fault. But how? How do I get the passion? Feels like I'm running out of time. I don;t know.
Then, there are dreams I wish I had control over. I don't. Since the beginning of this blog, it's been a constant wish of mine to meet someone and settle down but really, all the work that can be done is to pray. Maybe I haven't prayed enough. Maybe I don't need it as much as I think I do. Or maybe, as cliche as it sounds, the right one will come in the right place at the right time. Again, I don't know.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing on this blog again. Too many thoughts cloud my usually calm and sane mind. But tonight...Ah tonight is different. I feel like I've awakened from years of slumber that it's hard to think clearly. I'm like an exhausted battery that needs to be charged to go working again.
And there's too many frustrations that aren't even that important for which I'm struggling to come to terms with.
Oh goodness, why do I have to make my life more complex than it is? Maybe I have to chill a little bit. And maybe I should accept whatever life brings and find contentment where I can find.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Finding You
It's been a while since my last post. I wasn't planning to create a post until I chanced upon a French book I bought a few months ago and it gave me this idea of tracing the past owner of that book which I treasure so much. Well, I'm a sentimental person and I figure, the writing done on the notes page of the book just spoke of the honest feelings of the person who wrote it. And it also spoke so much about faith in the Lord which touched my heart deeply.
I would love to know how that person is doing now...So I'm going to type in exactly as it was written on the book hoping, keeping my fingers crossed that he/she will get to read this and remember having written it. Coincidentally, this coming January 9th will mark the 15th year it was written. I really hope he/she is doing well now. This letter actually inspired me to write again.
Living Language: Conversational French (Revised and Updated, 1993)
January 9, 1997 @6pm (cst)
"In the twilight hour, the light slowly drowned across the horizon. Underneath, the peaceful lights glowed from the city skyline. All is quiet, all so peaceful and serene. The promise of Him continually proven itself day in and day out. I am humble and appreciative of His love for this world, His creation. On the personal level, I have been praying for His guidance and forgiveness. I knew I should have listened to Him, but my own heart betrays my will. Now everything is too late. I have started something, a one way trip..."
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Time flies too quickly. The last thing I remember I was trying to book a flight to HongKong. Now it's actually just a couple of days away. I've always had a fear of flying so it's pretty darn hard to imagine what I'm going through these days especially knowing that it's just days before I get to fly once again. Geez. Anyways, I'm so thrilled to travel again. Getting to hang out in a completely different place, meet so many different people, eat numerous exotic dishes...that's the life of living!
Praying as early as today that my friends and I will have a safe and blessed trip. And also, I pray that God will keep my family and loved ones just as safe as I make that trip.
So excited!
Praying as early as today that my friends and I will have a safe and blessed trip. And also, I pray that God will keep my family and loved ones just as safe as I make that trip.
So excited!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
God is good all the time!
Nobody will ever know how long our journey will last. Every moment we spend as if there's no tomorrow. After the incident my family got involved in yesterday, I suddenly realized indeed every minute we spend on this earth is precious and that we can never assume that there will always be another tomorrow.
Yesterday, on our way to a kiddie party in Angeles City, our tire exploded while we were trudging the NLEX. As soon as our van stopped, a big truck came fast approaching and for a moment, all we could do was stare as it seemed intent to collide with our vehicle.
I was seated at the back along with my two aunts. The direction of the truck was actually on my side, the tire that blew out was at my side as well...I looked behind the moment we stopped. It felt as if I was looking at the face of death. I didn't move a single bit. I didn't scream. I couldn't. All I ever thought of was, "I'm ready for this...this is it."
But by a miracle of God, the truck driver made a full stop. It was merely a few inches. If he made a minute mistake with that sudden stop, it would have been the end for us.
It took hours before I could make sense of that incident. I was urging everyone in that van to stay positive...but my heart wasn't feeling all that well either. It kept haunting me even in my sleep. I cried last night before going to bed. My dad hugged me and thanked the heavens I was saved. Though we have had differences before, I know how much he loves me...He was so afraid of me most specially because I was the first person that would have been hit if the truck didn't stop.
Next month is my 33rd birthday. It's Christ's age that I'm entering. I've had other near-death experiences before but this tops them all. I wonder why I'm always saved. Maybe I'm still here for a reason. Maybe God has a bigger mission for me.
Whatever it is, I'm just happy for the gift of life. I'm happy I was able to love my family and friends and was loved by them as well. I don't know how long my road continues but no matter how far it takes me, I'll always be thankful to God because in those moments I needed him, he never, never left me.
God is good all the time!
Yesterday, on our way to a kiddie party in Angeles City, our tire exploded while we were trudging the NLEX. As soon as our van stopped, a big truck came fast approaching and for a moment, all we could do was stare as it seemed intent to collide with our vehicle.
I was seated at the back along with my two aunts. The direction of the truck was actually on my side, the tire that blew out was at my side as well...I looked behind the moment we stopped. It felt as if I was looking at the face of death. I didn't move a single bit. I didn't scream. I couldn't. All I ever thought of was, "I'm ready for this...this is it."
But by a miracle of God, the truck driver made a full stop. It was merely a few inches. If he made a minute mistake with that sudden stop, it would have been the end for us.
It took hours before I could make sense of that incident. I was urging everyone in that van to stay positive...but my heart wasn't feeling all that well either. It kept haunting me even in my sleep. I cried last night before going to bed. My dad hugged me and thanked the heavens I was saved. Though we have had differences before, I know how much he loves me...He was so afraid of me most specially because I was the first person that would have been hit if the truck didn't stop.
Next month is my 33rd birthday. It's Christ's age that I'm entering. I've had other near-death experiences before but this tops them all. I wonder why I'm always saved. Maybe I'm still here for a reason. Maybe God has a bigger mission for me.
Whatever it is, I'm just happy for the gift of life. I'm happy I was able to love my family and friends and was loved by them as well. I don't know how long my road continues but no matter how far it takes me, I'll always be thankful to God because in those moments I needed him, he never, never left me.
God is good all the time!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
another mushy poem
i'd like to see the smile of the skies
blossom in your eyes
i'd like to feel the warmth of your embrace
in the cold and dark of the night.
the tranquility in your breath
defeats the fear in my head.
you are you...
you are the reason that i long to.
blossom in your eyes
i'd like to feel the warmth of your embrace
in the cold and dark of the night.
the tranquility in your breath
defeats the fear in my head.
you are you...
you are the reason that i long to.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
a really old post from my other blog: Zandro (Feb. 17, 2007)
Still can't get enough of the episode in tonight's Maalaala Mo Kaya. I don't know, for some reason I compare myself to the female character's struggle with falling in love for the first time. Nah, I don't think what I felt then was indeed love. It was probably just infatuation, my own experience of a first crush…
I remember it so well. It was in 1992. I was 13, a high school freshman. He was 16, a high school senior. I remember how he looked like then. Small, chinky-eyed, fair skinned with a cute smile… I adored everything about him, though I never got to talk to him. Ah, I did but let me elaborate on a few more details before I proceed to that encounter.
The first time I ever saw him…honestly, I can't recall. My liking didn't spring from any physical attraction although later on, I realized he actually had a pretty face to begin with. Haha. But then, I liked him not because of that pretty face of his. I admired him because he was different.
Studying in a public school, where any place within the vicinity could serve as a classroom for students, the sort of classroom for his senior section was literally placed behind the slightly elevated room us, the freshmen were occupying. Anyway, I would always peek into their class because it was much easier to peep into them than to focus my attention to our teacher whose voice I barely heard. After a while, I noticed this guy who always listened attentively to his teacher and showed great enthusiasm in the discussion each and every time. That was far from what I was doing really, I had a very short attention span. I guess I still do up to now. Haha.
Okay, to continue with my story, this guy caught my attention. I couldn't tell how he looked like from afar. Haha. But I did have a friend who knew him instantly as soon as I pinpointed him. His name, my friend said was Zandro. At that time, he was the only guy I ever knew with that name. I guess, until now he's the only one…
So everyday, I was content with observing his every gesture, his every movement…and I had fun watching him. He was always reading and studying even when his friends were outside, bullying other students. He had a circle of friends but he wasn't like anyone of them. He was always quiet and reserved. Made me think, how on earth did his friends accept him in their club in the first place? Then I realized, it wasn't hard to like a man like him.
Zandro always had a notebook and a book with him. During recess, I'd find him reading in one corner while his friends ate like mad dogs. Then I found out something which made me like him even more. My friend who knew him because her brother was Zandro's close friend and classmate told me about his family's humble background.
The guy comes from a poor family and to help in the livelihood, Zandro worked in the afternoon selling fish and vegetables in the wet market. He was there to help his mother. That was probably the reason why I often saw him skip meals. Poor boy but his mother was so lucky to have him indeed!
My friend, after a few months informed me that her brother mentioned Zandro about me. I said, "Why did you let him know of me?" My friend only smiled, "I'll introduce you to him." I angrily resisted, "No!"
Things happened too fast. I just realized, I was standing in front of the guy I liked so much. Yes, it was Zandro who was placed in front of me. He was smiling the whole time. Maybe he knew about my "infatuation" for him. I really wouldn't know what was playing on his mind then. I smiled then he said something like, "Hi, nice to meet you."
I thought I was going to die. Goodness! That was it, then I had to go because my mother was waiting for me outside. I bid him goodbye. In my head, I thought, 'Ah there will be other chances. I'll meet him again. At least he knew me already.'
Unfortunately, it would be the last time I'd ever see him. A few days later, my family suddenly moved to our new house in Caloocan. The days went by I couldn't stop crying. There were so many questions lingering in my head at that time. Why did it have to end that way? I felt as if, there was no closure to our story that merely started when we got introduced to one another. If I didn't leave, probably something could have worked out.
I cried and cried and cried until my eyes got sore. I even had a theme song for him. At that time, Donna Cruz' version of "Boy" was a huge hit on the airwaves. I'd always listen to it every single day. Whenever I did, I always cried.
Today, Zandro is just a part of a distant memory. He's the first guy I ever liked, that's a fact. I liked him because he was a good son, a good student and a good man. I don't know where he is now. The last I heard of him, around '95, he was a working student who enrolled in a vocational school. You see, he really had a will to survive.
I feel nostalgic because I remember my youth through him. I was very innocent. Somehow a part of me is still young and innocent no matter how old I get. I can't totally say that I've grown to be a good person. I can only promise that I have tried to be a good daughter to my parents, a good sister to my brother and a good friend to my peers…Something that I have patterned after Zandro's good example.
I miss the guy.
I remember it so well. It was in 1992. I was 13, a high school freshman. He was 16, a high school senior. I remember how he looked like then. Small, chinky-eyed, fair skinned with a cute smile… I adored everything about him, though I never got to talk to him. Ah, I did but let me elaborate on a few more details before I proceed to that encounter.
The first time I ever saw him…honestly, I can't recall. My liking didn't spring from any physical attraction although later on, I realized he actually had a pretty face to begin with. Haha. But then, I liked him not because of that pretty face of his. I admired him because he was different.
Studying in a public school, where any place within the vicinity could serve as a classroom for students, the sort of classroom for his senior section was literally placed behind the slightly elevated room us, the freshmen were occupying. Anyway, I would always peek into their class because it was much easier to peep into them than to focus my attention to our teacher whose voice I barely heard. After a while, I noticed this guy who always listened attentively to his teacher and showed great enthusiasm in the discussion each and every time. That was far from what I was doing really, I had a very short attention span. I guess I still do up to now. Haha.
Okay, to continue with my story, this guy caught my attention. I couldn't tell how he looked like from afar. Haha. But I did have a friend who knew him instantly as soon as I pinpointed him. His name, my friend said was Zandro. At that time, he was the only guy I ever knew with that name. I guess, until now he's the only one…
So everyday, I was content with observing his every gesture, his every movement…and I had fun watching him. He was always reading and studying even when his friends were outside, bullying other students. He had a circle of friends but he wasn't like anyone of them. He was always quiet and reserved. Made me think, how on earth did his friends accept him in their club in the first place? Then I realized, it wasn't hard to like a man like him.
Zandro always had a notebook and a book with him. During recess, I'd find him reading in one corner while his friends ate like mad dogs. Then I found out something which made me like him even more. My friend who knew him because her brother was Zandro's close friend and classmate told me about his family's humble background.
The guy comes from a poor family and to help in the livelihood, Zandro worked in the afternoon selling fish and vegetables in the wet market. He was there to help his mother. That was probably the reason why I often saw him skip meals. Poor boy but his mother was so lucky to have him indeed!
My friend, after a few months informed me that her brother mentioned Zandro about me. I said, "Why did you let him know of me?" My friend only smiled, "I'll introduce you to him." I angrily resisted, "No!"
Things happened too fast. I just realized, I was standing in front of the guy I liked so much. Yes, it was Zandro who was placed in front of me. He was smiling the whole time. Maybe he knew about my "infatuation" for him. I really wouldn't know what was playing on his mind then. I smiled then he said something like, "Hi, nice to meet you."
I thought I was going to die. Goodness! That was it, then I had to go because my mother was waiting for me outside. I bid him goodbye. In my head, I thought, 'Ah there will be other chances. I'll meet him again. At least he knew me already.'
Unfortunately, it would be the last time I'd ever see him. A few days later, my family suddenly moved to our new house in Caloocan. The days went by I couldn't stop crying. There were so many questions lingering in my head at that time. Why did it have to end that way? I felt as if, there was no closure to our story that merely started when we got introduced to one another. If I didn't leave, probably something could have worked out.
I cried and cried and cried until my eyes got sore. I even had a theme song for him. At that time, Donna Cruz' version of "Boy" was a huge hit on the airwaves. I'd always listen to it every single day. Whenever I did, I always cried.
Today, Zandro is just a part of a distant memory. He's the first guy I ever liked, that's a fact. I liked him because he was a good son, a good student and a good man. I don't know where he is now. The last I heard of him, around '95, he was a working student who enrolled in a vocational school. You see, he really had a will to survive.
I feel nostalgic because I remember my youth through him. I was very innocent. Somehow a part of me is still young and innocent no matter how old I get. I can't totally say that I've grown to be a good person. I can only promise that I have tried to be a good daughter to my parents, a good sister to my brother and a good friend to my peers…Something that I have patterned after Zandro's good example.
I miss the guy.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Falling in Love
Falling in love starts with a smile, grows with laughter, crosses the bridge with tears and practically drives along with wonder. It takes two willing individuals to make it work or it will crumble no matter how much they love one another.
Have a little faith!
I don't understand why some people get depressed whenever Valentine's Day comes and they're single. For me, love is experienced every day of my life even in the smallest of act, the simplest of word and the purest of thought.
I feel that with or without a man, I am already complete. Having a partner will be more like an incentive, a sort of an assurance for a life-long companion, a person to grow old with, to share laughter and tears with...But even without one, I feel contented because of the love I'm getting from my family and friends.
Happiness is a state of mind. You either choose to be happy or you choose to be sad. How do you look at a glass of water? Chances are, you'll see it as half-empty if you keep searching for better things but fail to appreciate all the good stuff you have.
I don't want to worry about not having a significant other for I know it will come when I'm ready for it. God always has a right timing for things because he knows us more than we'll ever know ourselves. All he asks of us is to have a little faith.
I feel that with or without a man, I am already complete. Having a partner will be more like an incentive, a sort of an assurance for a life-long companion, a person to grow old with, to share laughter and tears with...But even without one, I feel contented because of the love I'm getting from my family and friends.
Happiness is a state of mind. You either choose to be happy or you choose to be sad. How do you look at a glass of water? Chances are, you'll see it as half-empty if you keep searching for better things but fail to appreciate all the good stuff you have.
I don't want to worry about not having a significant other for I know it will come when I'm ready for it. God always has a right timing for things because he knows us more than we'll ever know ourselves. All he asks of us is to have a little faith.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Cruel Indifference
To wait seems forever,
for I have stayed here so long.
To hope fades with a glimmer,
for I have almost lived in your shadow.
My world stopped moving,
but it didn't matter to you, I know.
Now I think I made it right this time,
because...
To continue is senseless,
'cause you shun even my slightest attempt.
To love you is worthless,
'cause you break my heart with your cruel indifference.
for I have stayed here so long.
To hope fades with a glimmer,
for I have almost lived in your shadow.
My world stopped moving,
but it didn't matter to you, I know.
Now I think I made it right this time,
because...
To continue is senseless,
'cause you shun even my slightest attempt.
To love you is worthless,
'cause you break my heart with your cruel indifference.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Manny: The Plight of the Human Spirit
After his convincing victory over the much bigger and heavier Antonio Margarito, Manny Pacquiao’s luster has been elevated to a level much greater than any other boxer in the modern era. It is without a doubt Manny’s most hard fought battle. I guess that out of all of Manny’s fights, this one deserves every right to be considered the most dramatic one. It is the fight that bared all the aspects of the superstar pugilist’s personality in and out of the ring. It showed us that he possesses both a fighting heart and a compassionate one at that.
Going into the fight, the odds were clearly in favor of Manny. It is an anomaly by logical reasoning since he is in fact smaller and lighter than Margarito. There have been so many David and Goliath stories in the past. Manny’s tale does it in reverse. He is the David that has Goliath’s power. It seems as if we’re made to believe he can put any big man down that gets in his way. Now that’s what you call a myth.
And so Manny, in his usual relentless style of boxing pummeled through a dazzled Margarito, stunned him with lightning quick punches which Margarito often never saw coming. By the end of the fourth round, Margarito’s right eye was cut badly and swollen. It was only then was he beginning to feel the real power of the little man he was facing.
The bigger man had his own moment in the sixth round as he pushed Manny to the corner and hit him with big body shots that for a moment scared the hell out of those who love the national fist, including myself. But like a true champion, Manny moved on to win the succeeding rounds with accurate punches to Margarito’s head which caused the poor man’s eyes to swell even more.
By the end of the tenth round, Margarito was ceaselessly being hammered by Manny’s countless blows. The fight should have ended there but Margarito never stopped fighting. He refused to quit even if it meant endangering his own life. And although, the referee often checked if Margarito could still see after having such a bad cut, it seemed the agony for both fighters was long enough to show us the true plight of the human spirit, the courage of a warrior’s heart and his compassion toward a fellowman.
At the end of the fight, the result was not as important to me as the manner in which Manny handled the entire game. I was in awe. Not only did he prove himself worthy to be listed among the all-time greats in boxing, he has somewhat proved to be one of the few inspirational figures of this era. His rise is a modern day fairy tale and his legend just keeps getting bigger and brighter.
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