Nobody will ever know how long our journey will last. Every moment we spend as if there's no tomorrow. After the incident my family got involved in yesterday, I suddenly realized indeed every minute we spend on this earth is precious and that we can never assume that there will always be another tomorrow.
Yesterday, on our way to a kiddie party in Angeles City, our tire exploded while we were trudging the NLEX. As soon as our van stopped, a big truck came fast approaching and for a moment, all we could do was stare as it seemed intent to collide with our vehicle.
I was seated at the back along with my two aunts. The direction of the truck was actually on my side, the tire that blew out was at my side as well...I looked behind the moment we stopped. It felt as if I was looking at the face of death. I didn't move a single bit. I didn't scream. I couldn't. All I ever thought of was, "I'm ready for this...this is it."
But by a miracle of God, the truck driver made a full stop. It was merely a few inches. If he made a minute mistake with that sudden stop, it would have been the end for us.
It took hours before I could make sense of that incident. I was urging everyone in that van to stay positive...but my heart wasn't feeling all that well either. It kept haunting me even in my sleep. I cried last night before going to bed. My dad hugged me and thanked the heavens I was saved. Though we have had differences before, I know how much he loves me...He was so afraid of me most specially because I was the first person that would have been hit if the truck didn't stop.
Next month is my 33rd birthday. It's Christ's age that I'm entering. I've had other near-death experiences before but this tops them all. I wonder why I'm always saved. Maybe I'm still here for a reason. Maybe God has a bigger mission for me.
Whatever it is, I'm just happy for the gift of life. I'm happy I was able to love my family and friends and was loved by them as well. I don't know how long my road continues but no matter how far it takes me, I'll always be thankful to God because in those moments I needed him, he never, never left me.
God is good all the time!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
another mushy poem
i'd like to see the smile of the skies
blossom in your eyes
i'd like to feel the warmth of your embrace
in the cold and dark of the night.
the tranquility in your breath
defeats the fear in my head.
you are you...
you are the reason that i long to.
blossom in your eyes
i'd like to feel the warmth of your embrace
in the cold and dark of the night.
the tranquility in your breath
defeats the fear in my head.
you are you...
you are the reason that i long to.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
a really old post from my other blog: Zandro (Feb. 17, 2007)
Still can't get enough of the episode in tonight's Maalaala Mo Kaya. I don't know, for some reason I compare myself to the female character's struggle with falling in love for the first time. Nah, I don't think what I felt then was indeed love. It was probably just infatuation, my own experience of a first crush…
I remember it so well. It was in 1992. I was 13, a high school freshman. He was 16, a high school senior. I remember how he looked like then. Small, chinky-eyed, fair skinned with a cute smile… I adored everything about him, though I never got to talk to him. Ah, I did but let me elaborate on a few more details before I proceed to that encounter.
The first time I ever saw him…honestly, I can't recall. My liking didn't spring from any physical attraction although later on, I realized he actually had a pretty face to begin with. Haha. But then, I liked him not because of that pretty face of his. I admired him because he was different.
Studying in a public school, where any place within the vicinity could serve as a classroom for students, the sort of classroom for his senior section was literally placed behind the slightly elevated room us, the freshmen were occupying. Anyway, I would always peek into their class because it was much easier to peep into them than to focus my attention to our teacher whose voice I barely heard. After a while, I noticed this guy who always listened attentively to his teacher and showed great enthusiasm in the discussion each and every time. That was far from what I was doing really, I had a very short attention span. I guess I still do up to now. Haha.
Okay, to continue with my story, this guy caught my attention. I couldn't tell how he looked like from afar. Haha. But I did have a friend who knew him instantly as soon as I pinpointed him. His name, my friend said was Zandro. At that time, he was the only guy I ever knew with that name. I guess, until now he's the only one…
So everyday, I was content with observing his every gesture, his every movement…and I had fun watching him. He was always reading and studying even when his friends were outside, bullying other students. He had a circle of friends but he wasn't like anyone of them. He was always quiet and reserved. Made me think, how on earth did his friends accept him in their club in the first place? Then I realized, it wasn't hard to like a man like him.
Zandro always had a notebook and a book with him. During recess, I'd find him reading in one corner while his friends ate like mad dogs. Then I found out something which made me like him even more. My friend who knew him because her brother was Zandro's close friend and classmate told me about his family's humble background.
The guy comes from a poor family and to help in the livelihood, Zandro worked in the afternoon selling fish and vegetables in the wet market. He was there to help his mother. That was probably the reason why I often saw him skip meals. Poor boy but his mother was so lucky to have him indeed!
My friend, after a few months informed me that her brother mentioned Zandro about me. I said, "Why did you let him know of me?" My friend only smiled, "I'll introduce you to him." I angrily resisted, "No!"
Things happened too fast. I just realized, I was standing in front of the guy I liked so much. Yes, it was Zandro who was placed in front of me. He was smiling the whole time. Maybe he knew about my "infatuation" for him. I really wouldn't know what was playing on his mind then. I smiled then he said something like, "Hi, nice to meet you."
I thought I was going to die. Goodness! That was it, then I had to go because my mother was waiting for me outside. I bid him goodbye. In my head, I thought, 'Ah there will be other chances. I'll meet him again. At least he knew me already.'
Unfortunately, it would be the last time I'd ever see him. A few days later, my family suddenly moved to our new house in Caloocan. The days went by I couldn't stop crying. There were so many questions lingering in my head at that time. Why did it have to end that way? I felt as if, there was no closure to our story that merely started when we got introduced to one another. If I didn't leave, probably something could have worked out.
I cried and cried and cried until my eyes got sore. I even had a theme song for him. At that time, Donna Cruz' version of "Boy" was a huge hit on the airwaves. I'd always listen to it every single day. Whenever I did, I always cried.
Today, Zandro is just a part of a distant memory. He's the first guy I ever liked, that's a fact. I liked him because he was a good son, a good student and a good man. I don't know where he is now. The last I heard of him, around '95, he was a working student who enrolled in a vocational school. You see, he really had a will to survive.
I feel nostalgic because I remember my youth through him. I was very innocent. Somehow a part of me is still young and innocent no matter how old I get. I can't totally say that I've grown to be a good person. I can only promise that I have tried to be a good daughter to my parents, a good sister to my brother and a good friend to my peers…Something that I have patterned after Zandro's good example.
I miss the guy.
I remember it so well. It was in 1992. I was 13, a high school freshman. He was 16, a high school senior. I remember how he looked like then. Small, chinky-eyed, fair skinned with a cute smile… I adored everything about him, though I never got to talk to him. Ah, I did but let me elaborate on a few more details before I proceed to that encounter.
The first time I ever saw him…honestly, I can't recall. My liking didn't spring from any physical attraction although later on, I realized he actually had a pretty face to begin with. Haha. But then, I liked him not because of that pretty face of his. I admired him because he was different.
Studying in a public school, where any place within the vicinity could serve as a classroom for students, the sort of classroom for his senior section was literally placed behind the slightly elevated room us, the freshmen were occupying. Anyway, I would always peek into their class because it was much easier to peep into them than to focus my attention to our teacher whose voice I barely heard. After a while, I noticed this guy who always listened attentively to his teacher and showed great enthusiasm in the discussion each and every time. That was far from what I was doing really, I had a very short attention span. I guess I still do up to now. Haha.
Okay, to continue with my story, this guy caught my attention. I couldn't tell how he looked like from afar. Haha. But I did have a friend who knew him instantly as soon as I pinpointed him. His name, my friend said was Zandro. At that time, he was the only guy I ever knew with that name. I guess, until now he's the only one…
So everyday, I was content with observing his every gesture, his every movement…and I had fun watching him. He was always reading and studying even when his friends were outside, bullying other students. He had a circle of friends but he wasn't like anyone of them. He was always quiet and reserved. Made me think, how on earth did his friends accept him in their club in the first place? Then I realized, it wasn't hard to like a man like him.
Zandro always had a notebook and a book with him. During recess, I'd find him reading in one corner while his friends ate like mad dogs. Then I found out something which made me like him even more. My friend who knew him because her brother was Zandro's close friend and classmate told me about his family's humble background.
The guy comes from a poor family and to help in the livelihood, Zandro worked in the afternoon selling fish and vegetables in the wet market. He was there to help his mother. That was probably the reason why I often saw him skip meals. Poor boy but his mother was so lucky to have him indeed!
My friend, after a few months informed me that her brother mentioned Zandro about me. I said, "Why did you let him know of me?" My friend only smiled, "I'll introduce you to him." I angrily resisted, "No!"
Things happened too fast. I just realized, I was standing in front of the guy I liked so much. Yes, it was Zandro who was placed in front of me. He was smiling the whole time. Maybe he knew about my "infatuation" for him. I really wouldn't know what was playing on his mind then. I smiled then he said something like, "Hi, nice to meet you."
I thought I was going to die. Goodness! That was it, then I had to go because my mother was waiting for me outside. I bid him goodbye. In my head, I thought, 'Ah there will be other chances. I'll meet him again. At least he knew me already.'
Unfortunately, it would be the last time I'd ever see him. A few days later, my family suddenly moved to our new house in Caloocan. The days went by I couldn't stop crying. There were so many questions lingering in my head at that time. Why did it have to end that way? I felt as if, there was no closure to our story that merely started when we got introduced to one another. If I didn't leave, probably something could have worked out.
I cried and cried and cried until my eyes got sore. I even had a theme song for him. At that time, Donna Cruz' version of "Boy" was a huge hit on the airwaves. I'd always listen to it every single day. Whenever I did, I always cried.
Today, Zandro is just a part of a distant memory. He's the first guy I ever liked, that's a fact. I liked him because he was a good son, a good student and a good man. I don't know where he is now. The last I heard of him, around '95, he was a working student who enrolled in a vocational school. You see, he really had a will to survive.
I feel nostalgic because I remember my youth through him. I was very innocent. Somehow a part of me is still young and innocent no matter how old I get. I can't totally say that I've grown to be a good person. I can only promise that I have tried to be a good daughter to my parents, a good sister to my brother and a good friend to my peers…Something that I have patterned after Zandro's good example.
I miss the guy.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Falling in Love
Falling in love starts with a smile, grows with laughter, crosses the bridge with tears and practically drives along with wonder. It takes two willing individuals to make it work or it will crumble no matter how much they love one another.
Have a little faith!
I don't understand why some people get depressed whenever Valentine's Day comes and they're single. For me, love is experienced every day of my life even in the smallest of act, the simplest of word and the purest of thought.
I feel that with or without a man, I am already complete. Having a partner will be more like an incentive, a sort of an assurance for a life-long companion, a person to grow old with, to share laughter and tears with...But even without one, I feel contented because of the love I'm getting from my family and friends.
Happiness is a state of mind. You either choose to be happy or you choose to be sad. How do you look at a glass of water? Chances are, you'll see it as half-empty if you keep searching for better things but fail to appreciate all the good stuff you have.
I don't want to worry about not having a significant other for I know it will come when I'm ready for it. God always has a right timing for things because he knows us more than we'll ever know ourselves. All he asks of us is to have a little faith.
I feel that with or without a man, I am already complete. Having a partner will be more like an incentive, a sort of an assurance for a life-long companion, a person to grow old with, to share laughter and tears with...But even without one, I feel contented because of the love I'm getting from my family and friends.
Happiness is a state of mind. You either choose to be happy or you choose to be sad. How do you look at a glass of water? Chances are, you'll see it as half-empty if you keep searching for better things but fail to appreciate all the good stuff you have.
I don't want to worry about not having a significant other for I know it will come when I'm ready for it. God always has a right timing for things because he knows us more than we'll ever know ourselves. All he asks of us is to have a little faith.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Cruel Indifference
To wait seems forever,
for I have stayed here so long.
To hope fades with a glimmer,
for I have almost lived in your shadow.
My world stopped moving,
but it didn't matter to you, I know.
Now I think I made it right this time,
because...
To continue is senseless,
'cause you shun even my slightest attempt.
To love you is worthless,
'cause you break my heart with your cruel indifference.
for I have stayed here so long.
To hope fades with a glimmer,
for I have almost lived in your shadow.
My world stopped moving,
but it didn't matter to you, I know.
Now I think I made it right this time,
because...
To continue is senseless,
'cause you shun even my slightest attempt.
To love you is worthless,
'cause you break my heart with your cruel indifference.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Manny: The Plight of the Human Spirit
After his convincing victory over the much bigger and heavier Antonio Margarito, Manny Pacquiao’s luster has been elevated to a level much greater than any other boxer in the modern era. It is without a doubt Manny’s most hard fought battle. I guess that out of all of Manny’s fights, this one deserves every right to be considered the most dramatic one. It is the fight that bared all the aspects of the superstar pugilist’s personality in and out of the ring. It showed us that he possesses both a fighting heart and a compassionate one at that.
Going into the fight, the odds were clearly in favor of Manny. It is an anomaly by logical reasoning since he is in fact smaller and lighter than Margarito. There have been so many David and Goliath stories in the past. Manny’s tale does it in reverse. He is the David that has Goliath’s power. It seems as if we’re made to believe he can put any big man down that gets in his way. Now that’s what you call a myth.
And so Manny, in his usual relentless style of boxing pummeled through a dazzled Margarito, stunned him with lightning quick punches which Margarito often never saw coming. By the end of the fourth round, Margarito’s right eye was cut badly and swollen. It was only then was he beginning to feel the real power of the little man he was facing.
The bigger man had his own moment in the sixth round as he pushed Manny to the corner and hit him with big body shots that for a moment scared the hell out of those who love the national fist, including myself. But like a true champion, Manny moved on to win the succeeding rounds with accurate punches to Margarito’s head which caused the poor man’s eyes to swell even more.
By the end of the tenth round, Margarito was ceaselessly being hammered by Manny’s countless blows. The fight should have ended there but Margarito never stopped fighting. He refused to quit even if it meant endangering his own life. And although, the referee often checked if Margarito could still see after having such a bad cut, it seemed the agony for both fighters was long enough to show us the true plight of the human spirit, the courage of a warrior’s heart and his compassion toward a fellowman.
At the end of the fight, the result was not as important to me as the manner in which Manny handled the entire game. I was in awe. Not only did he prove himself worthy to be listed among the all-time greats in boxing, he has somewhat proved to be one of the few inspirational figures of this era. His rise is a modern day fairy tale and his legend just keeps getting bigger and brighter.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Because we live in a democracy, we have to live with the majority's choice no matter if it doesn't conform to our own. But there are factors that make a popular choice and not all of those are necessarily about credentials.
It is my dream to see voters who choose a leader based not on emotion but rather on qualification. The inability of a leader will manifest each time no matter how many good people he has around him. You can't hide incompetence. It will burst out however way you cover it.
The success of a leader is the success of the people. In this case, the inability of the leader has caused its people to suffer. It's true what they say, candidates don't win or lose the elections, it is the people who do. Hay, Heaven help us!
It is my dream to see voters who choose a leader based not on emotion but rather on qualification. The inability of a leader will manifest each time no matter how many good people he has around him. You can't hide incompetence. It will burst out however way you cover it.
The success of a leader is the success of the people. In this case, the inability of the leader has caused its people to suffer. It's true what they say, candidates don't win or lose the elections, it is the people who do. Hay, Heaven help us!
It's scary to see a leader who still could muster a smile after a hostage incident that led to the death of many lives...He doesn't even have to fake a sad face. Isn't the mere idea of innocent people getting killed reason enough to feel depressed? If human life is not that big a deal for him, then what else is? How could someone be so cold-hearted?
The hostage taker was desperate and ready to take lives that's why you negotiate. But you don't negotiate by agitating the hostage taker even more. Clearly, those who were supposed to take charge were just as helpless as everyone else. It shouldn't have taken 11 long hours to end the situation, and it shouldn't have ended that bloody way. Media didn't help as well. Where there's freedom, there's also responsibility and compassion. This is like a nightmare that will take a long time to forget.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
My dream is to see a Philippines that is free from hatred, bitterness and division. How I'd love to see Filipinos moving towards the same direction no matter what social, political and religious advocacy they have. I envision a country finally eradicating crab mentality, selfishness and cynicism. I wish the wounds of the past will be healed quicker so we may be able to move on and start anew. Let us start a new era with positivism, with love and compassion. Let us work together not towards finding a fault but towards finding a solution. Let us take away all the negativity that's been hindering us from seeing the right path.. and may the love of God ultimately reign in our hearts.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
My birthday
Yes, it's my birthday! This day comes once in a year and it's been a habit to post about anything each time this day comes. I'll be more spontaneous on this one. It takes a longer time when I think slowly because I have a tendency to edit/re-edit the stuff I write about before I even post it.
Now, I'm very thankful for the wonderful birthday greetings I've been receiving since last night. I never really thought I had that many friends. Really, I'm so grateful!
On this special day of my life, I thank God for allowing me to see the beauty of the world around me. I'm grateful to him for the life He gave me, for the loving family that I belong to and for the friends He gave along the way.
I thank God for the love, hope, peace, joy that this life has been giving me. Words aren't enough to express my gratitude for the strength He was able to provide me in the many tribulations I had faced in the past. I pray to continue on with my battles in life, with Him beside me.
My wish is for my loved ones to stay happy and healthy for my happiness is deeply dependent on their happiness and well-being. I feel so blessed and loved by those who know me. Feeling their presence, their love convinces me more that God has always been good to me.
I pray that love will live in the hearts of people so nobody would demonstrate hate. May all of us live our lives to the fullest and that whatever our calling is, we may serve it to glorify God.
Whatever lies ahead, may the greater good always prevail. And if God will ask me now for a birthday gift, I'll choose to have Gilbert's health...I love my dog so much. An angel for a partner is a possible second option. Haha! Now that one took away all the seriousness from this essay.
Happy birthday to me!!!!
God is good all the time!!!!
Now, I'm very thankful for the wonderful birthday greetings I've been receiving since last night. I never really thought I had that many friends. Really, I'm so grateful!
On this special day of my life, I thank God for allowing me to see the beauty of the world around me. I'm grateful to him for the life He gave me, for the loving family that I belong to and for the friends He gave along the way.
I thank God for the love, hope, peace, joy that this life has been giving me. Words aren't enough to express my gratitude for the strength He was able to provide me in the many tribulations I had faced in the past. I pray to continue on with my battles in life, with Him beside me.
My wish is for my loved ones to stay happy and healthy for my happiness is deeply dependent on their happiness and well-being. I feel so blessed and loved by those who know me. Feeling their presence, their love convinces me more that God has always been good to me.
I pray that love will live in the hearts of people so nobody would demonstrate hate. May all of us live our lives to the fullest and that whatever our calling is, we may serve it to glorify God.
Whatever lies ahead, may the greater good always prevail. And if God will ask me now for a birthday gift, I'll choose to have Gilbert's health...I love my dog so much. An angel for a partner is a possible second option. Haha! Now that one took away all the seriousness from this essay.
Happy birthday to me!!!!
God is good all the time!!!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
